Thursday, July 23, 2009

Justin Isis - The Unassailable Value of Human Dignity

Pissing in my mouth; tearing off testicles; killing enemies; killing all enemies; amassing more territory; amassing more females; Spanish government granting me rights; killing children and crushing throats; amassing power; amassing food; amassing more females; warring with neighboring groups; crushing throats; amassing power; ethicist Peter Singer sympathizing with me; gaining territory; masturbating; pissing; shitting; masturbating;

Fearing others will take my place; killing their children; tearing out throats; amassing power; amassing food; pissing; shitting; humans approaching me; throwing shit at humans; running away from humans; screaming at humans; screaming; eating lower primates; biting off human fingers; Jane Goodall commenting on my lifestyle; crushing and eating children; satisfying my emotional needs at the expense of others; pissing in my mouth; amassing more females; masturbating;

Humans taking me out of my territory; humans putting me in artificial environments; humans making noises at me; humans giving me food; throwing shit at humans; amassing rocks to throw at humans; throwing rocks at humans;

Reading Animal Liberation by Peter Singer, realizing concept of 'rights' implies responsibilities; changing lifestyle to incorporate newly discovered concept of ethics; no longer killing children of enemy groups; no longer dismembering enemies; applying concepts of tolerance and liberalism to all aspects of life;

Applying for jobs in greater metropolitan area; showing up to job interviews wearing neatly-ironed suits; resisting urge to dismember job interviewer and smear shit across the walls; resisting urge to bite off human testicles;

Becoming concerned with environmental preservation; resisting urge to throw shit at humans; removing excess hair at salon; attempting to straighten posture; attending consciousness-raising seminars on interspecies cooperation;

Having sex with animal liberationalist liberals and interspecies sex advocates; licking human vaginas; resisting urge to bite off human vaginal lips; experiencing insecurity over inch-long chimpanzee penis in comparison with longer human penises;

No longer feeling any attraction at all towards chimpanzee females; feeling like a tourist when attending human nightclub events; growing disenchanted with animal liberationists and interspecies sex advocates; attempting sex with mainstream human females;

Receiving condescending stares from unreconstructed humans when walking in public with human girlfriend; wondering whether human girlfriend genuinely cares about my emotional needs or is only interested in me as a chimpanzee; meeting human girlfriend's sincere liberal parents; feeling reassured by atmosphere of tolerance and inclusiveness;

Experiencing intense satisfaction from equal-partnership marriage; discussing emotional needs with human wife; dividing household chores equally with human wife; experiencing intense satisfaction from inclusive and liberal environments supportive of diversity; feeling reassured by the unassailable value of human dignity -

Wondering whether I have "sold out" and unreconstructed chimpanzees have more authenticity than me; feeling simultaneous jealousy and contempt when considering unreconstructed chimpanzees;

Instructing interspecies children not to bite off human testicles or smear shit on walls; instructing interspecies children not to smoke cigarettes; instructing interspecies children to avoid unreconstructed chimpanzees; encouraging interspecies children to pursue extracurricular activities;

Watching interspecies children smearing shit on walls; watching interspecies children biting off human testicles; watching interspecies children mating with unreconstructed chimpanzees; wondering why interspecies children regard me as outdated; discussing emotional insecurities with human wife;

Etc.